Mr. Q: Totally out of Control

Today Mr. Q outdid himself. I just checked on him and he fell asleep on the couch. He usually goes to bed about 8:30 pm, but almost everyday he falls asleep shortly after dinner. Today was an exception so I noticed him wandering outside on the patio and decided to go there and walk him. I did a few rounds on the patio and then noticed he could hardly stand up. I took him inside; first to the bathroom where he did his #1 business; then to the sofa. He fell asleep almost immediately.

That’s no guarantee he will stay asleep, however, since he could wake up any minute and start wandering everywhere again.

I won’t mention everything that transpired, nor much detail. It’s too much to even remember. However, I think it was the most disastrous day since he has been here. Everything went wrong and Mr. Q seemed to be aware of it all. But that didn’t stop him.

It all started when I got that desperate yell “Charles!” as I was trying to get another half hour of sleep. He wouldn’t obey about going to the bathroom when he got up. He started fighting with the caregiver (Laureta) and almost threw her down on the floor. I ran there and stopped him. He fought with me, but he could not overpower me. After fifteen minutes struggling with him I got him to the table. He wouldn’t stay seated, however, and I had to guard him so he wouldn’t get up. That essentially wasted a half hour or more as he still wouldn’t behave and kept trying to get up.

All day he refused to obey anything we asked him to do. He fought me several times during the day, as well as Laureta again. It seemed like he purposely disobeyed when asked to do the normal things he does every day. He tried to climb the block wall fence several times after we told him to stay away.

He refused to stay seated to do his poo poo. When we tried to get him to take off his poo poo soiled clothes there was a big altercation as he refused and kept grabbing his filthy clothes as we tried to get them from him. Even with two of us it was practically impossible to get his dirty clothes off and replace them with clean clothes.

Later he had to take a bath and that was another terrible struggle with two of us essentially fighting to keep our balance and keep him from falling all while Laureta was trying to wash him. Normally it’s only a fight getting him to take off his clothes and sometimes putting on the clean clothes, but this time he was not budging and fought all the way. Finally after a struggle for about a half hour he was finished and we were so relieved. Water was all over the floor, towels were poo poo stained and Mr. Q was temporarily clean and good smelling, as opposed to reeking of poo poo stained clothes and poo poo all over his behind.

After all that mess was over Laureta went to his bedroom to get something. Laureta had smelled something bad when he first got up, but the problems with Mr. Q interrupted that so she didn’t investigate it too much. However now when she went into the closet the smell was awful and strong. After searching she found a little package laying under some clothes on a box. Lo and behold it was poo poo, all wrapped up neatly in toilet paper. Mr. had did his poo poo in his bedroom sometime either this morning before she went into his room or very late last night when we had all gone to sleep.

There was more, but that’s enough for now. I did walk him as mentioned at the beginning and asked him if he wanted to go into a mental institution. He said “yes”. As we walked he said that was terrible – the mental institution. I asked him again and I got no answer.

During all the commotion and problems with Mr. Q I think he was only partly aware of exactly how he was reacting and what he was doing. He kept asking the way to 57th street. He also kept asking was it 9:00 [in the morning]. It seemed what he was referring to was going to the bank. That must have been the time it opened or the time he went there. He has asked about going to the bank many times yesterday and today plus several other times on previous days.

After some talking with him I got him to say more about the bank. I asked when he went to the bank. He said every day. I asked what he did at the bank and he told me he withdrew $20 every time he went. Maybe that’s what he lived off of. Mr. Q probably had few bills and maybe he could live off of that small amount. I think he was telling the truth at the time, as I believe he always does – when he is in his right mind. To me that’s a revelation – that he would go to the bank every day (probably not weekends) and withdraw twenty dollars. Maybe he looked forward to that trip – I imagine he walked there from his place where he lived before he came to live with us.

Well Mr. Q just went to bed. He is still not cooperating and would not move to the middle of the bed. He was on the edge where he could easily fall off. He is too heavy for most woman caretakers to move so I had to go in there and move him so he would not fall off. I think he is “out of it” as he usually is at bedtime. The combination of his medicine and sleeping pill does that to him, and he is taking the minimum amount so he is not all drugged up like some who take the same medicine. In fact, I believe one of our residents takes some 15 times what Mr. Q takes and 37 times what another resident takes. They all have depression problems and the medicine for that can be real strong.

I hope I can call it a day with Mr. Q. I spent over seven hours with him today. I don’t think anything was accomplished since today was the worst day I can remember with him for both of us. If I hadn’t been here it would have been an even more disastrous day. If you have to take care of anyone with dementia or Alzheimer’s you may have days like this.

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