Mr. Q has departed and more

Mr. Q has Passed Away and more

June 1, 2009

Lots has happened since my last post many months ago. Mr. Q has passed away. He passed right after my last post. I just haven’t had time to update this blog about him. Mr. Q went into the hospital for an operation on his stomach, but after a successful operation he was unable to keep any food down. He never made it out of the hospital after staying there two days after the operation.

His family wanted to have an autopsy just to confirm that he had Alzheimer’s. There was one done, but the results came back negative, no Alzheimer’s disease. We didn’t believe it. Several of his doctors had all diagnosed him with Alzheimer’s. He had all the typical symptoms and behaviors of someone with Alzheimer’s disease. Whatever he had, if not Alzheimer’s, was manifesting itself like Alzheimer’s.

We will not forget Mr. Q. It’s too bad he did not make it out of the hospital. In effect Mr. Q starved to death. That’s because he was effectively unable to keep any food down for several days before his operation and after his operation. From what we were told by more than one expert was that many Alzheimer persons have problems with eating and choking on food. Our experience with the many Alzheimer’s residents seems to validate that conclusion.

Mr. R at our RCFE who also had Alzheimer’s disease

We did have another man (I’ll call him Mr. R) at our RCFE who also had Alzheimer’s and a host of other problems. We dealt with him for the past four months. However when he threatened us several times he had to go.

He left last week after we called the police. The paramedics also came. They took him away to the hospital for observation. Mr. R was not as bad as Mr. Q, but seemed to get belligerent and bossy right after he got a roommate. It kept getting worse as the days went by. He appeared jealous because we had to devote more attention to his roommate who was a ninety year-old man who needed lots of help. Mr. R was only in his 70’s and was otherwise strong and able to manage himself personally for most things.

Mr. R needed no help and could do virtually everything for himself. When someone can manage themselves like Mr. R could, they need to so they will not forget how to do it. Mr. R had a serious memory problem due to his Alzheimer’s or dementia. It was imperative for him do do things himself, if he could (and he could) so he would not forget.

Mr. R was infatuated with his ex wife, who he had been divorced from for over two decades. He acted like a teenager infatuated over their “sweetheart”. All he wanted to do was sit and daydream of her all day. Originally he would call her several times a day, but we had to put a stop to that as he was tying up our phone. Anyway he is finally gone. Good riddance! He was a real pain-in-the-neck, plus more.

We still have Mr. R’s roommate here and he has dementia. Don’t know how long he will be here. He has a bad problem with his temperament and there is always something he does not want to do plus getting him to eat is a serious problem. Just today his mood shifted from good to terrible.

Because of all the problems we have had with him I am arguing for evicting him. To me it is not worth the hassle. It’s not just his attitude. He is making up things and telling lies to the caretaker, giving her a hard time and tons of extra work. Unfortunately his lies could cause us problems so it makes it hard to continue to care for him. He apparently has issues with everything we try to do for him and one time everything is ok, while another time he is complaining about what he was complementing us on previously.

I am crossing my fingers that he will go within the next two weeks. It appears his responsible party doesn’t want to take him out. I have already told him I think he should go to another facility where he has a person to take care of just him. He requires too much care for a place like ours. We would have to hire someone to care only for him and that would increase the price he is paying us by double. I know if he goes somewhere else they would not put up with him for long like us.

He has only been with us one or two months and I can see the writing on the wall. We will have to just see how this all plays out.

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